The emotions experienced during this adoption process can be compared to a roller coaster to say the least. Referrals have been very slow lately, which is very depressing. When we started the process, we were very busy meeting with the lawyers, going to the police station for fingerprints, meeting with our practitioner, etc. etc. We were anxious and so excited. When our agency went bankrupt, we were crushed. It felt like another miscarriage. We were very joyful when the agency was reconstructed and when referrals started coming in, we were ecstatic! I carried the phone with me everywhere. Now, I have turned the emotional tap off. I don't care if the phone rings; I have no emotion. I was beginning to feel bitterness kick in. However, today, through the working of the Holy Spirit, I was inspired by the song "That's what faith can do" by Kutless.
I pray that God will forgive me for my bitterness and anger and that I will be able to have faith and hope in Him. "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands" (Deuteronomy 7:9).